Man, Woman, attraction and treason

Hello there...is it me you looked for??

Apparently my anniversary...celebrating the lies by omission, break of trust and the etcs of relationships.
Adele is indeed a very talented woman...got me calm throughout the weekend. Got me thinking and strategizing in melancholy...

Now back to the title, we all have heard that a woman's sixth sense is a magical tool that all women tend to ignore, as obvious as certain things may be....we just deny reality and slap it in the face, only to be punched and see victory walk past us, while life (being a b**** that she is laughs at us highlighting those tiny stars dancing around your head) just is life, and she reminds it everytime we think, fairytales are true. So for the first time my senses tingled a bit too much, and I was forced to pursue this search for finding out the truth...now do not get me worng, my life has not yet gone that pathetic but somehow seeing just brought believing to another level.

This revelation of his temptation was brought to my eyes by surroundings and his own friends. Well story of my life..bla bla bla, "the jane doe" just gave me everything I needed to make sure that there is definetely something there, and damn did I just see the nigga run after like her, like a silly poodle...Sigh...So could he be cheating? is it only attraction? does he need some new meat (I am down with open relationships)? I mean wtf? Why is he suddenly extremely nice to me, yet I am being the last biyatch on earth????

Not sure if I can stand the lies? or the fact that maybe he does not yet know that he feels attracted to her or maybe that he is that naive? I mean, I did insist to be introduced, I did tell him that she would do anything to get him! What did we miss Watson?

INSIGHT: ????? *blank*

He will say that he loves me, that he would not do it in front of me, that this is not that, and that would be this...I remain clueless, but my sense said and I followed, and the gift of sight answered...

I was never been  a believer of "seeing is believing", especially since I was suffering from an internal fever, MIGHT have delirious...but then again there was alcohol...hum there I go being a woman again....So confused. What do you do when suspicions have been confirmed, by both parties. Do I go? do I stay? But I have that bug they call love...There is no such thing as Love. But I believed, then I saw...and amen I believed...so so and so...

By the way I want to become a budhist, this pagan crap is old school now.....:S.

From messages and private lunches, Lord knows where things have gotten. No introduction but I waited for to meet her...yet he acted as if nothing was going on... I need help rethinking what to do. But first things first: GET THAT WALL BACK UP!! Until then I shall be under construction....

CONFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSED...."It is not easy giving up your heart, but even more dificult to get it back"...by N3iriso

Peace and Habit (There is no such thing as Love!!)

Growing up and Stepping out...

There is an issue that has always been controversial, yet it has been defined and explained. Growing up! we all know girls grow up faser than guys and then the boys catch up and then etc's...but reaching maturity is not growing up per se. When do you know that you are growing up, of course despite the fact that hormones are dictating your every cell how to...what if you always had that mature sense in you...when do you say, that you grew up enough...

Growing up, I feel that I did, way before all my friends, all my brothers and sisters...way before myself as a matter of fact...I really do not know. I have always been ahead of time, I know my super ego and control my ego..of course growing up does not mean the extinction of cartoon watching, playing and occasionally doing your daily stupid thing/saying your stupid thing...But there are times that a dose of mature and grown up act has to take the best of it...

Sometimes you see and hear and feel things. but you do not know whether they shoud be said or not. you feel that it is the grown up thing to do...the mature thing, but are we ready to hear these reality checks? I still hesitate on what my feelings towards certain things should be communicatd or not...

Maybe sometimes we just think we are there when we are not....maybe many things should never be said or should be left unsaid...tricy thoughts these are.

One advantage of learning from mistakes also known as gorwing up, is that we are no longer afraid of stepping out of our shell, we take risks, where and when we can...I sense that I am growing with my relationship, but I am growing all alone. I let myself be fooled but what seems to have an age, can thoughts be ranked, can loved evolve? Maybe things I should have not gotten myself into...

I think I should....so what am I? My mouth learnt to open itself and do the mature thing, now it is hard to close it....I wish we could go back in time and repair broken wishes, dreams and lifes...I truly do wish I did not have to grow up and stop believing in wishes...